We absolutely adore weddings. With all the colour and happiness, excitement and celebration, a perfect fairytale wedding is every girl’s dream. But the reality of a wedding is quite different from what we have always been told. We talk to a few recent, real brides to tell you exactly how the much-anticipated wedding day actually goes, what is truly important, and what is nothing but a myth.
*some names are changed to protect identity*
It’s your day:
For as far as she can remember, every girl is told that her wedding day will be HER day. Sorry, ladies, there is literally no bigger myth than this.
Busted: According to Neeta Shetty, her wedding day wasn’t her day at all. She says, it felt more like the day to make everybody except her husband and their immediate families (because they were too busy doing the same thing) feel like they were the most important people in the world. She was too busy shaking hands and accepting congratulations, making sure her guests were are all fed and watered, and posing for pictures with everybody for it to have been her day.
Conclusion: Being the centre of attention is very time-consuming.
You’ll eat a lot:
Everybody expects to eat heartily at an Indian wedding. Especially the bride and groom, because they have to be present for all the functions, which obviously include a lot of food, right?
Busted: Priyanka Bhide-Joshi disagrees. With so much happening and more left to be done at her wedding, she says food was the last thing on her mind. Every time she sat down for a meal, she remembers being bombarded by guests who wanted to strike conversations instead of letting her eat in peace.
Conclusion: Hasty meals are the flavour of the day for the happy couple, and don’t believe anybody who tells you any different.
Every detail matters:
Brides are known to get extremely stressed with all the details that come along with planning a wedding. Every flower choice, every lighting arrangement, every dish served goes through extreme scrutiny before the final event.
Busted: Zainab Mehvee remembers the turmoil over the colour of catering table roofs at her nikaah, and the amount of stress that was involved with it. Eventually, she realised nobody even looked up at it, and it was probably the most inconsequential detail ever.
Conclusion: Everything doesn’t matter, it just feels like it does at the moment. Calm down.
Family performances are the star of the wedding:
You know those dance rehearsals that your friends and families spent weeks practising? The ones that you were sure were going to light up the evening for all your guests? Yea, those.
Busted: With so many people who wanted to perform at her wedding, Amara Desai was ecstatic to slot 15 minute performances for 6 groups. She was absolutely sure that they would thrill her guests and keep them entertained. It didn’t happen quite like she thought. Her guests were visibly bored by the end of the performances, and were seen more at the catering tables than as the audience.
Conclusion: Slot family and friend performances for no more than half an hour in the wedding programme. They aren’t the highlight of the event, and they shouldn’t be treated like they are.
You don’t need to set aside time for your photographer:
Wedding photographers are a relatively new trend. They always existed, but earlier, they were known to just do their job in the background. That’s why, even today, most couples don’t feel the need to slot them into the schedules for their big day.
Busted: Manasvi Patel remembers this as the biggest mistake made at her wedding. Her husband didn’t have too many leaves at his work for their wedding, so most of it was rushed. With two ceremonies happening every day, time allotment was a messy affair. She says reducing the time slotted for her wedding photographer was, at the time, the easiest compromise to make. But her wedding day proved otherwise. Because there wasn’t any time, they had to cram their photo shoot, and though it turned out relatively satisfactory, she is sure they would have a much better physical evidence of the memories had they set aside enough time for the photographers.
Conclusion: Wedding photography is important. And your photographer can probably create some fabulous images if you give him the time. Don’t forgo or rush this.
It all calms down after the bidai:
Because the bidai ceremony is usually at the end of the wedding reception, it is often considered as the end of the all the chaos. But is it really?
Busted: After a tiring few days with all those ceremonies and traditions, Akanksha Chawla recalls how she was eagerly awaiting the bidai ceremony just so she could go to bed. She reached her husband’s house almost ready to pass out, only to be stopped at the door for another ritual. This was followed by more rituals once she was inside. At the end of it, she was four hours past the time she thought she would be asleep, and still completing wedding rituals.
Conclusion: Forget sleep on your wedding day – or night. It’s not going to happen.